Love Stinks!

Confession: I've got smelly kids.

Okay, they aren't actually smelly. And I love them no matter what. But, I do find myself having to have the talk, with my 5 and 8 years olds, about how they don't want to be that kid in school. The one that no one wants to play with because he's, well, a little less than fragrant. All the while, having to have the other talk, about how if they should come across that kid in school, they had better be nice to him, and treat him just like any other kid. But, the long and short of it is, some kids are just lazy about good hygiene. Mine included.

Take a sniff. Go ahead. I dare you. While I was reluctant to be one of those parents who demanded that their children's outfits be perfectly matched, or they look like they're doing a Parents magazine cover shoot at all times, I never thought we'd fall so far in the opposite direction. You see, my kids are stinky. It's not my fault really. Okay, maybe a little. I like to let them play in the dirt, have fun, you know, be kids. But my kids, they fight taking a shower. They hate brushing their teeth. They even try to wear the dirty clothes from their hamper, rather than clean clothes from the drawer. And these? These are my girls! Perhaps my kids are not unusual. Perhaps it's a phase that all kids go through? Though I had hoped that having a bedroom that smelled like a sweaty gym locker was something I would deal with someday with my then teenage son. I wasn't expecting that odor to emanate from the shared bedroom of my 5 and 8 year old daughters!

And the worst part of it is, I don't really do much to alleviate the problem. I'm not saying I'm lazy, because, my Lord if you could count all the things I do for these kids in a day, the mind boggles. But, let's just say I'm a 'let the dogs eat that spilled food off the carpet rather than vacuum' kind of gal. And so, I have been known to go in to the girls room, sniff around, and walk right back out. Knowing full well that my underwear hating 5 year old has probably removed and stashed several used pair under her bed. Or that my sock losing 8 year old has probably taken off and tossed her dirty little socks in various spots, every day this week. And, eventually it will all get dealt with. When I cant take the hands-in-your-butt, or up your nose, or in the dirt, smell of kids anymore, they will be forced to shower. When I see that there's no room in my daughters bed for her to sleep amid the removed clothes that cant find their way to the hamper, I'll make her clean out her bed. And when I see (or smell) that my 5 year old has been again storing her undergarments under her pillow, I will actually change her sheets and pillow cases.
It's pretty bad when the boy has the best hygiene in the house. Of course, he's teetering on the brink now too, having developed a fondness for blowing his nose in his sleeve. What? They teach that shit in school, people!