Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Why I can't wait for school to start.

Confession: Sometimes you have to cry to blog.

And today, today was a crying day. Nothing especially bad happened. No one was hurt. No one is ill. Just a routine run of the mill summer day filled with your run of the mill chaos. It's just that today, I let it get under my skin. Instead of relishing all of the good, instead of focusing on the awesome, I let the chaos bog me down. I try so hard never to do that. It's no good for the soul.

What is good for the soul, apart from spending these lazy summer days with the ones I love the most, is the approaching end of summer break and inevitable return to school.

The first thing I want to do once school starts is take a bath. Seems like a simple enough desire, right? To me too. Except I haven't taken a bath since I was 8 months pregnant.... WITH MY ALMOST 11 YEAR OLD!

One of three things is happening right now. You are gasping in disbelief- you are thinking about how long it's been since you relaxed in a hot bath- or you're all like "what the hell is wrong with you?"

Listen, I have blogged abut the subject before. I have talked about my lack of personal time. I just try not to do it too often because, well frankly, there are lots of people out there who perceive it as whining, and feel that I live far too charmed a life (nice house, able to stay home with my kids, healthy children) to be whining about anything.  And they might be right. But everybody has a bad day sometimes, and that's abut the time I remember that I was once a person before I was the entity now known only as mom or _____'s mom. Before my needs got pushed to the bottom of the list. Before I couldn't read a book, hell, even a chapter, until everyone was fed, washed, clothed, and put down for the night. Before a day without a shower turned into 4 because I was busy planning for Christmas, or a birthday party, or a Tuesday.

So yes, it has been 11 years since I have made time for just me. 11 years since I soaked in a tub with a candle and a glass of wine. 11 years since I had a scheduled time where I could work-out regularly. 11 years since I had a mani-pedi. 11 years since I went to the salon and had my hair colored instead of doing it myself while the kids napped from a $6 box of color I got on sale at Target. 11 years since I had an hour or two carved out to do nothing that has anything to do with cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundering, hosting, or even blogging. And now, for the first time EVER, all the kids will be away from me at school all day!

Sure, I get out occasionally on my own, and by occasionally I mean 4 or 5 times A YEAR. And usually the chaos and mess that I have to deal with upon my return almost makes it not worth it to go. Almost. Except for the fact that if I didn't take those few times that I do have, I might actually go totally ballistic. And when Momma's not happy, ain't nobody happy. Although, I don't think they got the memo around here.

Don't get me wrong, most days I get along just fine. It's a happy, albeit hectic existence. But once in a while....
Today for example, my day was filed with dogs (not just my two but the extra one I am sitting for this week- yes for those keeping score I did sit another dog all of last week as well), anyway, the day was filed with dogs, dishes and diarrhea. Not my finest hour. Still, I keep on keepin' on. I know that there is a relaxing hot bath just around the corner for me. Knowing, knowing that 4 weeks from now, in 29 days from now, in 696 hours from now, in 41,760 minutes from now, in 2,505, 600 seconds from now... I will get my bath.

I know some of you are looking forward to peace and quiet in your homes. I'm sure some of you would love for the endless empire of Legos to finally be toppled. And the parade of kids in and out eating you out of house and home on a daily basis is probably something that you will not miss in a few weeks when school begins. But for me, it all starts with a bath.

As I type this, I have asked the children to give me 5 minutes. 5 minutes to finish up the post I have been trying to write since last night. One of them is singing, another is poking me with a plastic pitchfork, and one of the dogs is licking my feet... so much for 5 minutes of peace.

September 6th. Say it with me... nice and slowly... Sepppptemmmmber 6thhhh. For us, that is when everything just STOPS! At least for one day. The revolving door (both to the pool and the fridge) will slam shut. The food line will come to a halt. And all that you will hear coming from my house, will be the sweet, sweet sound of running water...


O'Boy! Organic said...

I feel the same way. For me I think my kids are bored and are ready to get back into a daily routine and frankly so am I. We travel a lot during the summer and sometimes that's good and sometimes that's bad because by the time we get home they are cranky, way out of routine and with that comes BAD behavior. I personally think you need to make time for yourself, even if it's at night after they go to bed and have a glass of wine. I so love when 8:00pm arrives at my house every night.

Jennifer Auer said...

I couldn't agree more. I feel the same way minus the dog, we don't have one. I am fighting that until my kids don't need my constant attention as much. I love my kids but if we aren't out and about they are just so crazy. The only time I am not with them is when I am tutoring someone else's kids. I too look forward to a bath and a quiet lunch with friends when school starts.

Deanna said...

Oh, sweet girl! You NEED your time! After 11 years! I feel your pain. I don't have young ones any longer, but have been there. Feel free to whine all you want about it! We really do understand. Hope you enjoy your bath and make it regular part of your week, if not day! Hugs to you!

Katherine said...

Its amazing how much work can really be and how Mommy always falls last. You can do it hon! It's less than a month now. Grin & bear it!

BloggerFather said...

Hey, I don't think you'll get too many people who'd call you a whiner. Stay at home with kids, for me, means not simply not having time for myself, but spending an entire day without the ability to leave the auto-pilot. I can easily deal with my two kids and my dog, but god forbid I try to write that blog post while they're awake, or watch that short bit on the news, or talk on the phone.

So we end up with tiny slivers of virtual us-time on Twitter and on Facebook, because we don't want to wake our brains and fool them into thinking we're going to use them until after the kids are asleep.

Enjoy that bath. You've earned it.